Future Self

Lorain County Community College

1005 North Abbe Road Elyria, OH

Elyria, OH 44035


June 2, 2013


 
Ambra Rhoads


Early College High School 


Elyria, OH 44035

 
Dear Ambra Rhoads:

No matter what path you choose in life, make sure education is the one thing you always continue with. Education is always the key to success. There is always something you can improve on and there is always something you can learn, Mr.Ramirez taught you that remember. Along, with your pursuit of education, do not be afraid to tech other about your findings and the things you learn. Teaching is also a road to success. Teaching helps understand knowledge better and allows an analyzing point of view.

Do NOT live life in fear. Always try new things. In life there is no set in stone path to take. Experience is key to finding your calling in life. At this moment in time I know I want to swim and interact with sharks. Do not be afraid to do that. Everybody has that one major fear in life. Find that and overcome it. Overcome it because that is the only way to really live a full life. Knowing that a fear has been overcome.

Have fun! No matter what you do have fun with it. Life will be dull and boring if you cannot wake up in the morning to look forward to do something. Be with your family every chance you have. Nobody know like you do that life is short and people get taken away in the blink of an eye. So enjoy all of your family. I know for a fact you are going to be a hard worker and sometimes forget that you actually have a life, so I ask please do not do that. Always remember there is more to life than working. 

P.S Be you throughout everything. Never pretend to be happy or be somebody you are not. Never settle for less than you deserve. Always be one step ahead of everybody else and be prepared for anything that may come your way.

Sincerely,
Ambra Rhoads

Forgivness

I have forgiven a lot of people within my life time. I think that if I do not forgive them everything will eventually build up and I would be one angry person. There is only one time I think I have not forgiven somebody and I still have not forgiven this person. During high school I never expected I would get so close to some people. Well I got really close to this one person. He was literally like my best friend, I would have taken a bullet for him. But one day he completely changed. He was mean and rude to me. His teasing jokes suddenly were not funny anymore, they really hurt. We started arguing more and more. Than one day I just told him we were not really friends anymore.We stopped talking for about a month and then one day he decided that he was done being a jerk and wanted to be friends. I am slowly giving him my trust again. I do not think he will ever get it fully ever again. That is something I have never really done before. When I cut people off they are cut off forever, like there is no going back and forth. Forgiveness is something we all must overcome and when we do things will be easy for us in the long run.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
- Gandhi

#ToLoveOrNotToLove

Love and companionship are two things I know I could not live without. Love in the dictionary means: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. My definition of love would be doing something for another person no matter what the cost is.
I think that I could not live with out love or companionship because I would feel like the Creature in Frankenstein. I would feel all alone and I would probably go crazy. I am one of those people who can stand to be alone for awhile but then I need other human interaction. Everybody should have human interaction.
I have a kitten his name is Sin Claire and I consider him my "companion". I consider him my companion because I take care of him and love him as if he were my own child. I cuddle with him and play with him. I think he is just like a human being because like we need affection, animals do too. I could only imagine what it would feel like if my mom ignored me, I do not want Sin Claire to feel that.
There are people out there like me that have trouble loving people. It takes me a while to grow to love someone. For me there is a difference between being very nice to someone and having love for that person. I  have trouble with loving people because when I let my guard down I usually get hurt. It is not a fun feeling. There was one point in my life when I thought I was never going to love anybody or anything ever again. I lost my best friend, my cat I had before I got my kitten, and my grandma within two months of each other. I felt emotionally drained. But then I got my kitten and he is the only guy I need in my life and I just love him so much.
Some people say I am going to be that old crazy cat lady, I do not know if I am but if it happens than I am going to be just as happy. I think in my head when I hear that, at least I can love another creature as much as I would love a person.

Firrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeed!

   The feeling of rejection is probably one of THE most terrible feelings ever! I have had many circumstances where I was the person being rejected. I remember when I was little I always sang. No matter where I was. I sang in the car, the shower, going to the bathroom, int he grocery store. Whereever I was I sang.

   One day I was singing in the kitchen making myself some raspberry tea, because that is my all time favorite thing. My mom came in she had been having a bad day at work. She was on the phone in the kitchen as I was making my tea and she told me "STOP SINGING! YOU ARE NOT GOOD AND YOU WILL NOT BECOME A SINGER!" I was only 12 when she said that to me.

   I remember telling my mom sorry, grabbing my tea, and walked to my room and crying. I really cannot describe my feelings in that moment. I just remember feeling like my heart was ripped out of my chest. My entire life I had been singing and now I could not anymore because I was not "good". At that time my mom's approval is all I ever wanted.

   I have just started singing again. I sing sometimes in front of my mom, and most of those times she is singing with me. But everytime I do sing I hear her words play over and over in my head. I think that moment has stopped me from doing most of the things I have wanted to. I just do not want to embarrass myself or anybody I am with.

Are you Right or Wrong? Am I Right or Wrong?

Once when I was little my brother Jeff and I were outside playing kickball. I kicked the ball and started running the bases. He ran after the ball and when he got it he threw it at me to get out. He got me out all right. When he threw the ball at me it hit my feet and I fell on the AC unit outside and busted my face and lips on it.

I sat up after I fell and my dad came running. I had my face in my hands and he said "Honey please lift up your hands so I can see." I did as he asked. He soon realized that probably was not the best choice. I lifted my hands and blood just poured from my face. He then said "Okay put your hands back up there."

He picked me up and brought me into the kitchen, laid me on the counter and called my aunt to come and see if I was bleeding bad enough to where I needed stitches. Luckily I was not. I sat back up after my dad cleaned me all up. He laid me on the couch with a frozen wash cloth, yes a wash cloth because we did not have any ice packs. My brother came in crying saying he was sorry and that he did not mean for anything bad to happen to me.

I honestly think it was not his fault or mine. It was just one of those crazy accidents that was not meant to happen but did. I love my brother at times, I know he would never intentionally try to hurt me like that. He has gotten mad at me and thrown a pillow at me but I do not think he would ever actually hurt me. I forgave my brother the instant I knew I was going to be okay and that nothing serious was wrong with me. My mom however still felt like him being the older brother, he should have known better than to play with me like that. Moms. What do they know? :)

Strength vs. Weakness

  I have encountered many things in my academic life that have made me feel like I am not worthy of moving on. I think the most difficult project I have had to do was present my science project with my group to Mr.Jaworski's freshman class. That was probably one of the most nerve wrecking moments of my life.

In lab I am doing a project on Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). Now this project confuses me sometimes, so putting it in terms for freshman to understand was pretty tough. I remember going in to present and thinking I am going to talk to fast and they are not going to be able to understand and they will not be interested in science and that will be all my fault. So my thought process made me even more nervous.

It turned out I did a really good job in presenting. I spoke clearly and explained everything very thoroughly so they would understand. So that was a bad day turned into a good day :)

Gulliver's Travels

There are many people who travel. Travel millions of miles away for what? People sacrifice lots of their time exploring. Dreams I think are one of the main reasons people travel. I think dreams are one of the main reasons because it gives them something to look forward to. Something to achieve and aspire.
Now with that there comes the sacrifice of time and family. Some get so wrapped up into what they want that they lose sight of what they already have. I titled my blog post Gulliver's Travels because thats what inspired me in writing this.

To tell the Truth or tell a Lie

Truth vs. Lie

               Most people in extremely difficult time have trouble choosing between a truth and a lie. I however believe in this saying “the truth will set you free.” So, I believe in telling the truth at all costs. I have been in lots of sticky situations where I did not know whether to tell the truth or tell a lie.

  I lost my grandma to lung cancer and then 2 months later I lost one of my best friends. Things were very rough for me. I honestly did not think I would ever get through it. But I tried and tried and eventually my pain became dull. It will forever be there but I am at the point where I can talk about them and not want to just shut down, cry and be by myself.

 Everything started going by well and the next thing I knew my grandpa wanted me to meet this lady he had been talking to. I was a little hesitant but I did it anyway because I love my grandpa more than anything, so if it made him happy I would do it. Well I met her and things went well for a couple of months and then one day I over hear my mom yelling at him because they were going to get married. It had only been a year since my grandma had been gone. He did not ask any one of us what we thought, he asked her family and they were okay with it. He called me the next day and asked me if I was okay with it, and of course I went off on him like my mom did and told him I did not approve of it and I did not want him to marry anybody. It is really hard when you grow up with your grandparents being married and only having eyes for one another, to burying my grandma who I cherished so much, and then seeing my grandpa acting like he had never even been married. So then I told the truth and it was probably the best thing I have ever done, because if I had lied I probably would be one angry bitter teenager.

Telling the truth is not just about being honest with somebody else it is about being honest with one's self, and having the courage to express how you actually feel about something. I used to never believe that the truth will set you free until my grandma died because that is when I stopped being afraid to tell people how I am feeling. Having that courage has been a blessing but it has also been a burden because now I am honest and tell the truth where ever I go or whatever I am doing. I think I am too blunt on some subjects which has gotten me into a lot of trouble especially at home.

Truth is the best way to go no matter what.

Struggles, Achievements and Aspirations of High School

Ambra Rhoads

Mr. Juarez

English 10/Period 8

10 February 2013

                                          High School Experiences

            During my High School experience I have encountered many struggles which have led to my accomplishments and have helped me create aspirations. To some people High School is the easiest thing in the world. I used to think that, but I do not anymore. I have had many struggles that I did not think I would. That is because throughout middle school I was a straight A student and as soon as I came to Early College High School that was no longer the case. I went from straight A’s to mostly B’s and C’s. In my house those grades are frowned upon. So I had to figure out what I needed to work on and what was okay.

            I am not a perfect student. I never really thought I was; I just got decent grades. I am like every other student, I have struggles in school. I have probably the worst procrastination ever. I always do things last minute. Especially things that are important like major essays and class projects. Paying attention has also been a big struggle too. I have the attention span of a cat. I get distracted so easily. I could be in class listening to a lecture but then I look out the window and just zone out. That is a terrible habit to have especially taking college classes. Talking has been more of a problem than struggle I would say. I talk in almost every single class, and I think that annoys most of my teachers. I just cannot help it sometimes, especially when somebody starts the conversation with me. But I have been working on all of this and that is why I do have accomplishments.

            I have accomplished more than I would have thought possible. I have acquired a good study habit. I used to never study before, but I quickly realized that with some of my classes the tests are not a joke. I have to study at least three days before the test in order to pass them. Good organization was a key to how I have accomplished what I have. When I was not organized I was all mixed up. I had different assignments for different classes in all of my folders. Nothing was where it should have been. It was just very hectic. But once I got organized I became more successful in my studies. I am a really good test taker now. Since acquiring my good study habits and my organization I rock most of my tests. I have my moments when I could have done better but I always try my best. With good academic accomplishments I started thinking of what could happen in the future and what I could aspire to.

            My aspirations now are nothing like what I used to aspire. Before I used to not care if I got distracted, now I do everything possible so that does not happen. I do not sit next to windows anymore and I do not sit next to people that I know I will talk to and socialize with. Since all of that I really want to do is get above a 3.0 this semester. Most think it is far fetched but I know I can do it. Once I set my mind to do something I do not give up. One thing that I really hope to keep up with is HIV/AIDS research with Dr. Kestler and my lab group. I was one of five kids last year to be accepted into this group. It was a great honor to me, to be able to work with a famous Microbiologist. That is probably number one on my list of aspirations.

            It took me to years to figure out where I needed work and where I was fine. Two years may seem like a lot of time but I know people who still have not gotten it together yet. I love having my aspirations and my accomplishments; it just shows me how much I am worth and what I have do to improve on myself. But I think I cherish my struggles the most because without them I do not think I would be where I am. I probably would have been kicked out of Early College High School a long time ago. And since I have not I am going to keep doing my best and keep climbing for my dreams.

Are there bullies in the world?

One of the main causes of teen death is suicide. Teens commit suicide because of bullying and other factors. The question I and many others ask : "Why do people bully online?". I think people bully online because it is easier to hide behind a computer than to be a jerk to some one's face.
I personally would stand up for someone who is being bullied. I think most people would would but there are those people who do not like confrontation and also do not like to put themselves out there even though they know it is wrong. I would stand up for people being bullied because I have been bullied. It is not fun at all. I have blond hair and most people think I am dumb because of it. So they would say stuff like I am incompetent and slow, which is completely inaccurate.
If I stood up for somebody it would be to give them the support and confidence that I never had. However, I think that is is okay that I never had that support because I am the type of person to hold everything in until I explode. This is why I am the way I am.

Rights

Do people have the right to take things that do not belong to them? I was shown a picture about a family whose house was being torn down because it was built on "illegally" sold land. I believe that the family should not have been reprimanded because the house was built somewhere that they did not have any control over.
Though there always two sides to things. The first would be it is NOT right to take things from people especially if has not been given away or bought. To me that is like when the Native Americans got their land taken from them by the White man. This land had been in those families for generations and then in a blink of an eye it was all vanished. NOBODY had the right to take it.
The second would be the exception. It IS right to take things from people when they have borrowed the money to get them. When people get loans from the bank to buy a house, they have to pay that money back. If there has been continuous non-payment then I think it perfectly LEGAL to take it away.
There are going to be people who think this is completely contradicting but I do not think so. I think that unless you have the legal right to take something away, then it morally is not right. When I say morally I mean it is not a humane thing to do. I do not know if that makes sense, but I hope it does.

Would I risk my Life?

Many sacrifice their lives for complete strangers. Why? I think many people sacrifice their lives because they feel like it is the right thing to do. I think they feel like it is the right thing to do because if they did not then they would have to live with the " what if's ". That is probably worse than dying.
I have talked to my mom about this because I was having trouble writing this paper. My mom thinks it is absolutely crazy to die for somebody you do not know. My opinion however, think giving my life for somebody would be probably one of the greatest honors.
I am the type of persont that if I see somebody hurting I have to help them. So if giving my life helped them then that is something I would give up. If I was walking past a house and I saw somebody in toruble like a couple fighting and a weapon was pulled out I would be there in an instant trying to help fix things. I have always been the person to try to fix things.
I think it is different for police officers and firefighters. They risk their lives because it is for the people of their country. That would be their pride part of it. Firefighters and Police Officers protect people not only because it is their occupation. They protect people because they want people to be protected and for no harm to be done. I think not just anybody can be a Police Officer or Firefighter, somebody trying for that occupation has to genuinely want to help and care for people.
I no doubt would give my life for somebody. Now there is only one question that YOU can answer. Would YOU risk your life for someone?

This is for you ♥ A day with you

There are not very many people that I would want to spend the day with. But, the one person that I would love another day with, the one person I would give anything to see again, would be my grandma. Most people would think that is crazy because I should want to spend the day with someone famous.

My grandma died on August 26th, 2011. She had been a very important person in my life. She is the reason why I am the way I am. She was very important even when my mom was pregnant with me. My grandma had always given me the love ALL children should have from a grandparent growing up.

My grandma was the type of grandma that whenever we had family get togethers she would always be with the babies and kids. Being with the adults was not something she cared to much for. Nobody understood why, but I did. She based her life around her family and I think that is the most important think somebody could want. Family.

I loved my grandma more than words can desribe. I never really got the chance to show and tell her before she got sick. Now that she is gone, I feel even worse because now I will never ge the chance to. I am still very, very angry that she was taken from me so soon.